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About Me Member Software Developer Michael Sonier20/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 23 Deviations
17 Comments
496 Pageviews

Lost in a Dark Hole

Thu May 21, 2009, 8:41 AM
  • Mood: Worried
  • Listening to: n/a
  • Reading: n/a
  • Watching: n/a
  • Playing: DarkAges
  • Eating: Cereal
  • Drinking: Water
I wonder where I will be going in the next few years. The thought troubles me. I have not been able to think about how I can improve my life really. I honestly don't know if I can. The events that have been happening to me these past days or weeks have sort of broken my wall. I guess I don't have one anymore.

I haven't been feeling like I've been a good person lately. I guess that's why I don't feel like working on myself really. I don't believe in myself anymore. If I do, something will always happen, and I'll always end up back here at square one. I used to think I was a leader and a good friend to everyone, but I guess I've been hurting those I love more than I am helping.

I've been slipping into this dark hole. I can't really seem to get out of it. I used to be able to fend for myself (or so I had thought) but it feels like I need someone to be there to help me. Last may, 2008, I was assaulted by three guys my age. I should have fought back, but I was too scared to do anything. I must be a real coward. I was too scared that if I did, they'd kill me. I was waiting for it to end... but miraculously I didn't die. I was saved by a security officer in my community. I'm surprised it happened, too.

I was taken to the hospital. Looks like all they did was break skin. I had no broken bones, but a few scratches and a fat lip. I looked horrible on the outside, but I was alright on the inside. Good thing I drink milk and stay healthy.

People. I am afraid of them. I am afraid of their words and their actions. They are manipulative and hurtful. I learned that I can't fully trust anyone unless I have known them for a long time. I just can't bring myself to tell them to stop and shut up, because then I feel like I would get myself in trouble or lose my job or something...

...

But I will try to work on it. I was never good at arguing, but I guess I will have to fight to make sure I have my own place in life. I will fight anyone if it means keeping my own rights. I want to be myself again, like I used to be. I was naive, but I see truth now. I have to believe in myself... I have to... It's the only way...

deviantID

Ello. I'm Michael "Makeii" Sonier. I'm a game developer and I like to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Seriously. I could never get old of those.

If you check out my submissions, you'll see that I often have screenshots of games I have created, or half-assed. They are considered art, so I put them up here for good measure. :D After all, I had to be creative enough to think up the games, eh?

My meduim is usually pencil and paper, and other times the art of the pixel. Pixel characters are easier to make apart from full-sized characters, but I like doing both the same. I just dont like using my scanner all too much. It's a nice scanner, no doubt, but it's the labor that's involved. ripping out the sketchbook page, putting it on the scanner, scanning, waiting for it to render to a raster image, editing, saving as a .bmp...

So anyway, check here often for more submissions.

My company name is the Zynk Corporation. We're located at this link -> [link]. If you'd like to help us make a game, I would really like that ^^. I need more music editors.

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    Comments


    :iconepitive:
    wanted to say Hello ^^
    :icontairun:
    Excuse me... I believe you have my stapler?
    :iconpatgroove:
    I recommend checking out pouet.net for some real time generated demos. You could probably get into the door with PB.

    --
    Calgary devMEET on November 14th, 2009. Visit ~CalgaryMeet for details! Or join us on Facebook!
    :icontairun:
    Muahaha! I've got my eye on you :nana:
    :iconmakeii:
    That is somewhat disturbing. Oh well, the more attention the better : )
    :iconfarcry77:
    Hi Welcome to DA :gallery:
    This is a lovely place. I’m sure u will like it a lot :deviation:

    -Priyantha :bow:
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    My page is [link]

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